Markiert: You WITZE


Hier findest du lustige Sprüche Allgemein-Witze und Sprüche aus unserer großen Witze-Sammlung zum Ablachen. Viel Spaß mit unseren witzigen Sprüchen und lustigen Witzen zum Thema Sprüche Allgemein.

Hong Kong Capitalism: You have two cows. You sell three…

Hong Kong Capitalism: You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly-listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax deduction for keeping five cows. The milk rights of six cows are transferred via a Panamanian intermediary to a Cayman Islands company secretly owned by the majority shareholder, who sells the rights to all seven cows milk back to the listed company. The annual report says that the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Meanwhile, you kill the two cows because the fung shui is bad.

Bureaucratic Socialism: You have two cows. The government takes them…

Bureaucratic Socialism: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone elses cows. They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and as many eggs as the regulations say you should need.

Bureaucracy: You have two cows. At first the government regulates…

Bureaucracy: You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. After that it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.

Pilot: Bratislava Tower, this is Oscar Oscar Kilo estabished ILS…

Pilot: „Bratislava Tower, this is Oscar Oscar Kilo estabished ILS 16.“Tower: „Oscar Oscar Kilo, Guten Tag, cleared to land 16, wind calm – and by the way: this is Wien Tower.“Pilot: (Nach einer Denkpause) „Bratsilava Tower, Oscar Oscar Kilo passed the outer marker.“Tower: „Oscar Oscar Kilo roger, and once more: you are approaching Vienna!“Pilot: (Nach einer Denkpause) „Confirm, this is NOT Bratislava?“Tower: „You can believe me, this is Vienna!Pilot: (Nach einer erneuten Pause) „But why? We want to go to Bratislava, not to Vienna!“Tower: „Oscar Oscar Kilo, roger. Discontinue approach, turn left 030 and climb to 5000 feet, vectors to Bratislava.“

You need the computing power of a P5, 16 MB…

You need the computing power of a P5, 16 MB RAM and 1 GB Harddisk to run Win95. It took the computing power of 3 Commodore 64 to fly to the Moon.Something is wrong here, and it wasnt the Apollo.